I’m off to rehab..court mandated almost 15 months ago. How do I feel about it? Honestly..okay I’m going to be all about the truth in the coming days..so here’s the truth. Does the song ‘Rehab’ as in ‘I don’t wanna go to rehab..no..no..no’ by Amy Winehouse, ring a bell.
Yea..well..that comes pretty close to how I’m feeling at this..the 11th hour. The song itself can sometimes be nasally, self-indulgent, and just a tad whiney. If Ms. Amy spilled these lyrics the night before she had to go into rehab..she damn straight hit the mark on how this gal feels on the eve of her invalidation. Throw insecure, edgy, tense and overtired into the mix, and well you have to know, I just don’t wanna go to rehab..I said no no no!
To work on just me for 4 weeks..it has never been done. Despite all the positive optimisim and well wishers words of encouragement offered up today; when alone with my thoughts and the irritating ticking of a clock moving forward, a constant reminder of change on the horizon..I would almost rather do anything else.
And yes..I do know it’s the drug addict in me speaking, pushing away feelings, conning and resisting. She’s had control for many decades, and she’s running scared in the deepest recesses of my mind. Wish me luck.
Catch you on the rebound folks.